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If I Could

by Heather Hutchison

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Also includes a PDF sample of Heather's memoir, Holding On by Letting Go, which was the inspiration for these songs.
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      $4 CAD  or more

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 7 Heather Hutchison releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Later or Goodbye, Alone With the Truth, Tough Luck, If I Could, Where the Ocean Meets the Sand, Charades, and Hello. , and , .

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      $13.65 CAD or more (35% OFF)

     

1.
Spark 02:55
You and me, we both fell from the same tree And I’ll tell you all I know with a bottle in front of me Me and you, we’re both stuck in the same glue And you try all you know but sometimes it’s not up to you But it seems as though things between us have changed The silence on this glacier feels so strange It’s breaking my heart, it’s breaking my heart And it’s tearing us apart Loaded guns and killer medicines, buying up rounds till we’re out of funds So we’ll sell the ground from beneath our unborn sons Because this chaos and calamity only feed my apathy And there’s nothing left that means a thing to me It’s breaking my heart, it’s breaking my heart It’s breaking my heart, it’s breaking my heart And it’s tearing the world apart Yet here is me on bended knee with a last ditch attempt at poetry But words defy the beauty that I see A simple act of generosity awoke what I thought was lost in me I’m not perfect but I’m better than I used to be And it’s melting my heart, it’s melting my heart It’s melting my heart, it’s melting my heart And it only took a spark
2.
Exit Plans 03:34
Always wanna be somewhere else Always wanna be someone else Useless fears got me more afraid of life than death And I just wanna know how it feels to lose control I’ll die a thousand times From self-inflicted crimes Running through my racing mind In a prison of my own design Wanna hold it in my hands So I’ll make exit plans Once we’re gone we’re gone Once it’s done it’s done Is it ever really noticed by anyone? And now I think I know how it feels to lose control I die a thousand times From self-inflicted crimes Running through my racing mind In a prison of my own design I hold it in my hands Cause I’ve made exit plans But when pain becomes purpose Then maybe it’s worth it We didn’t choose this And we are not worthless The sentence could’ve ended here How can she treat herself like this? Doesn’t she see the things she’d miss? A reminder on her skin that life can begin It’s in our control Holding on by letting go We could’ve died a thousand times From self-inflicted crimes Running through our racing minds In a prison of our own design Won’t let it slip through our hands No need for exit plans No need for exit plans
3.
I’m awake in a place that never dreams Cause she’s calling in her sleep Screams out to Jesus but we’re all out of faith Cause there’s no God in this forsaken place But if we give ourselves a bit of grace They say maybe we’ll be better someday So lock the door and throw out the key Because the world has lost its mind Turn off the TV and turn down the noise Because there’s no truth left to find Here the colours have meanings, the red and white and blue Just take what’s on offer, let it melt into you But time has turned our black and white to different shades of grey And the darkness stole our words till there was nothing left to say So lock the door and throw out the key Because the world has lost its mind Turn off the TV and turn down the noise Because there’s no truth left to find Here we are, broken and battered Cast aside, but once we mattered But here’s the thing you don’t get about us We’re just sad, not dangerous So you turn away Till there’s nothing left to save So lock the door and throw out the key Because the world has lost its mind Turn off the TV and turn down the noise Because there’s no truth left to find
4.
Picking up speed, but couldn’t see the crash come Caught up in selfish altruism Addicted to that familiar despair Still breathing, but no longer there And if I could say one thing for sure You were never as alone as you thought you were Cause no one has the answers, and there’s more than just one way But it’s not a finish line, it’s a choice you make each day Choose living or choose life Some days it’s enough just to be alive They were looking down from the viaduct Thought no one even gave a fuck And now we peer through the veil To see all the ways we’ve failed And if I could talk to them I’d say I’m sorry you never found your reason that day Cause no one has the answers, and there’s more than just one way But it’s not a finish line, it’s a choice you make each day Choose living or choose life Some days it’s enough just to be alive Cause no one has the answers, and there’s more than just one way But it’s not a finish line, it’s a choice you make each day Choose living or choose life Some days it’s enough just to be alive Some days it’s enough just to be alive
5.
Picking up speed, but couldn’t see the crash come Caught up in selfish altruism Addicted to that familiar despair Still breathing, but no longer there And if I could say one thing for sure You were never as alone as you thought you were Cause no one has the answers, and there’s more than just one way But it’s not a finish line, it’s a choice you make each day Choose living or choose life Some days it’s enough just to be alive They were looking down from the viaduct Thought no one even cared enough And now we peer through the veil To see all the ways we’ve failed And if I could talk to them I’d say I’m sorry you never found your reason that day Cause no one has the answers, and there’s more than just one way But it’s not a finish line, it’s a choice you make each day Choose living or choose life Some days it’s enough just to be alive Cause no one has the answers, and there’s more than just one way But it’s not a finish line, it’s a choice you make each day Choose living or choose life Some days it’s enough just to be alive Some days it’s enough just to be alive

about

Could sharing our own darkness be the light that guides someone else through theirs? This is the question that award-winning, Vancouver Island-based singer/songwriter Heather Hutchison seeks to answer on her latest release, If I Could, (January 28, 2022).

Hutchison’s songs have always been rooted in the universal feelings of the human experience, but If I Could is undoubtedly her most personal work yet. In this concept EP, Hutchison shares her experiences of the time she spent hospitalized for psychiatric care during the COVID-19 pandemic, and her first, tentative steps into recovery. This EP crosses genres, from the gritty, pop-punk Spark, to the orchestral pop track Exit Plans, to the understated strings and piano of the title track, If I Could, in which Hutchison speaks to her former self, as well as to the ones who have been lost to mental illness. Hutchison sings with the conviction of someone who has lived these experiences, and her crystal clear voice commands attention from the very first note. With captivating melodies and strikingly powerful, honest lyrics that stay with you long after the songs are over, Hutchison weaves achingly beautiful stories, offering her unique brand of realistic optimism to others who are struggling.

If I Could is not only a musical project for Hutchison, it is her life’s work. The themes of this EP are the perfect soundtrack to her recently released Amazon best-selling memoir, Holding On by Letting Go. Blind since birth and having struggled with mental illness from a young age, Hutchison is passionate about educating people on mental health and disability through her music and writing. She is a frequent guest on national television and radio programs and renowned podcasts across the globe, singing and speaking to bring her message of hope to those who need it.

credits

released January 28, 2022

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Heather Hutchison British Columbia

Award winning singer/songwriter Heather Hutchison tells life stories rooted in the universal feelings of the human experience. With captivating melodies and strikingly powerful, honest lyrics that stay with you long after the song is over, Hutchison weaves achingly beautiful stories, both hopeful and broken-hearted. ... more

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